The Image of Rank

General

Leaps over tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than an locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water, and gives policy to God.

Colonel

Leaps short buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if the sea is calm, and talks to God.

Lieutenant Colone

Leaps short buildings with a running start and a favorable wind, is almost as powerful as a switch engine, is faster than a B. B., walks on water in an outdoor pool, and talks to God if a special request is approved.

Major

Barely clears Quonset huts, loses tugs of war with locomotives, can fire a speeidng bullet, swims well, and is occasionally addressed by God.

Captain

Makes high marks when trying to leap short buildings, is run over by locomotives, can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury, can dog-paddle, and talks to animals.

First Lieutenant

Runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives two out of three times, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed, and talks to water.

Second Lieutenant

Falls over doorsills when trying to enter buildings, says "look at the choo-choo", wets himself with a water pistol, and mumbles to himself all the time.

NCO

Lifts buildings and then walks under them, kicks locomotives off the track, catches speeding bullets in his teeth and chews them, and freezes water with a single glance. He is God!

Junior Enlisted

Sneaks through the barracks, catches a ride on a train called the Silver Bullet, uses water only as a chaser, and when seeing one of the above, he uses God's name.