This letter and others like it were found in a 13B10 classroom by a janitor. Please look through it to see if you can help to get it returned to the owner.
Thank you
24 Aug 96
13 Bravo 10 Course
Wisconsin Military Academy
Fort McCoy, WI
Dear Mommy and Daddy,
I am having fun here at the Army in my 13 Bravo 10 school. All of the people in my class are just like me. Everyone in our class has a low GT score, do you remember when the nice recruiter told me my ASVAB score was so low that I could be a "cannon crewmember"? My roomate must be really smart, his GT score was 73; I bet he didn't even need three waivers to get into the Army. He told me he's never been in prison and said he finished his GED. I bet he'll be a section chief!
My roomate and I spend a lot of time together. One of our instructors even likes to come down from the third floor and visit us. My roommate is a lot older than me. He buys me beer and we sit in our rooms and fool around almost every night. My roommate has taught me a lot of neat games and other stuff.
When we get drunk we play this one game that I'm not supposed to tell anyone about. The only ones who know about it are me, my new pal (roommate), and the nice man who comes down from the 3rd floor.
The game we play when I get drunk I call Mr. Snakey. My roommate is always very nice to me, but sometimes Mr. Snakey in his pants gets very naughty and mad. Mr. Snakey will rear up and point his mean little one-eyed purple head right at me. My roommate then tells me we will have to spank Mr. Snakey so he will not be not be naughty. I beat him and spank him and sometimes my roommate says we will have to punish Mr. Snakey and put him in and out of the dark little cave.
My roommate says Mr. Snakey doesn't like the cave and that's why he has to scare Mr. Snakey moving him in and out. I believe Mr. Snakey doesn't like it cause he most always gets sick after he visits the cave. Two nights ago Mr. Snakey got sick on my back.
Last night my roommate said to make sure that didn't happen again he had me bite Mr. Snakey's mean little head to teach him a lesson. You will never guess what Mr. Snakey did. Mr. Snakey got mad and spit right in my face!
My roommate and I also play other games here at 13 Bravo 10 school. We even played Mr. Snakey out at the FTX way out in the woods. The nice man from the 3rd floor even helped m punish Mr. Snakey. That man told me not to tell anyone cause he said when he plays Mr. Snakey with a student it is called frightenization and that he could get in trouble. My roommate says I shouldn't tell anyone cause then he will stop buying me beer and those pills, and everyone else will want to play. Having fun at 13 Bravo 10 school.
Your Son
PS We have 13 Bravo BNCOC and ANCOC sergeants who also have mean little Mr. Snakeys.
If you haven't figured it out yet, this is a joke! And not meant to be taken seriously, though I can't vouch for the after-hours recreational activites of 13Bs.
SSG Jason Long